Homework help!!! :(

[Tonic]

I have a French oral test tomorrow and I really need to know if my grammar is riiight? :3


bonne journée! mon nom est Tonic et i et portant un costume inspiré du printemps en France. mon top est une chemise bleue floral. Ma jupe est une mini-jupe marron. mes chaussures sont noires talons hauts. Je porte un long cardigan noir sur ma tenue. merci et bonne journée!

Good day! My name is Tonic and I am wearing a French inspired costume in France. My top is a blue floral shirt. My skirt is a brown miniskirt. My shoes are black high heels. I am wearing a long black cardigan over my outfit. Thank you and good day!

[Nausikaa]

Hello, here are my (small) corrections:

bonne journée! Bonjour ("bonne journée" is only used as a "goodbye") mon nom est Tonic et i et portant je porte (I'm guessing the "i" is a typo because I have no idea what you mean by that, for the "je porte", as you're wearing the outfit you can use the present tense) un costume  ("costume" means costume in the halloween/carnival sense, or tuxedo, so I hope that's what you're going for) inspiré du (I can't really make up my mind whether "du" is correct here or not, I think that "par le" is ok as well, but I have no grammatical explanation for this, "du" should work fine) printemps en France. mon top haut ("top" is  used in young fashion stores or magazines, but is borrowed from english, "haut" is the proper french word) est une chemise bleue floral à fleurs ("floral" works if you want to say "à motifs floraux" wich means "a floral pattern" but talking about an item of clothing "à fleurs" is fine and more usual) . Ma jupe est une mini-jupe marron. mes chaussures sont noires à talons hauts. Je porte un long cardigan noir sur ma tenue. merci et bonne journée!

 

As you can see I didn't have much to say about it, it is mainly perfectly ok, except for a few small things. :)

 

[Charles D]

Bon jour! Je m'appelle Tonic et je porte une ensemble qui est inspire (accent on the 'e') par le printemps français: la chemise est bleu avec un mode floral, et la jupe marron est une mini.  (This last part might be written as 'la mini-jupe est marron')  Les chaussures a talons sont noires.  Je porte aussi un long cardigan noir sur toute l'ensemble.  Merci et bonne journée.

To explain:  Having already stated that you are wearing the outfit, you go on to describe the outfit.  I don't think you need to keep saying "my" in referring to the articles of clothing. I think you should keep it simple; you repeat yourself:

"My top is a blue shirt" = "The shirt is blue"  If you like the English word 'top' as franglais then 'la top est blue' is sufficient.

"My skirt is a brown mini-skit" = this can be simply said in two ways: 'The brown skirt is a mini' or The mini-skirt is brown.'

a talons implies high heels the way une mini implies a mini-skirt.  I don't think 'haut' is necessary at all.