Could someone please check my translation? Thanks!

[Jenni Jolly]

I am practicing my French by writing a short story. There are some sentences that I am not sure I translated correctly. I would appreciate any help, thanks!

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My family has two cats. Lea is a light grey kitten with green eyes. She likes to play. She likes to run. She likes to eat. She likes to sleep.

Ma famille a deux chattes. Léa est un chaton gris clair aux yeux verts. Elle amie á jouer. Elle amie courir. Elle amie manger. Elle amie dormir.

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Grizabella is black with yellow eyes. She does not like to play. She does not like to run. She likes to sleep by the window. She is twelve years old.

 

Grizabella est noir aux yeux jaunes. Elle n’aime pas á jour. Elle n’aime pas courir. Elle amie dormir près de la fenêtre. Elle douze ans.

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I have one brother and one sister. My brother’s name is Allen. He is fifteen years old. He likes to play football. My sister’s name is Monica. She is eleven years old. She likes to play the piano. I do not like to play the piano. I do not like to play football. I like to read and I like to play games on the computer.

 

J’ai un frère et une sœur. Le nom de mon frère est Alain. Il a quinze ans. Il amie jouer au foot. Le nom de ma sœur est Monique. Elle a onze ans. Elle aime jouer le piano. Je n’aime pas jouer le piano. Je n’aime pas jouer au foot. J’aime lire et j’aime jouer à des jeux sur l’ordinateur.

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My mom is forty-five years old. She works at a restaurant. She is the manager. She works at night. She likes to read novels and magazines. My dad is forty-eight years old. He works at the school. He is a math teacher. He likes to read the newspaper.

 

Ma mère a quarante-cinq ans. Elle travaille dans un restaurant. Elle est la gérante. Elle travaille la nuit. Elle amie lire des romans et les magazines. Mon père a quarante-huit ans. Il travaille à l’école. Il est un professeur de maths. Il amie lire le journal. 

[stu harris]

In many places you've written amie when you mean aime.

Le nom de mon frère est Alain would be better as Mon frère s'appelle Alain. To play is jouer, not jour (and be very careful not to write jouir by mistake.) There are other small faults.

[Jenni Jolly]

Merci ! I made those changes. Would you mind telling me what else you found incorrect? Thank you again!

[stu harris]

OK, but I translate in the other direction so (as long-term members here will know) my Eng > Fr is not fully reliable. However, FWIW...

You don't need the à in aime à jouer. Elle douze ans should be Elle a douze ans. Jouer à des jeux sur l’ordinateur is a problem, I don't think à des can ever be right. Elle est la gérante would be better as simply Elle est gérante or perhaps Elle y est gérante. I'm not sure about directly translating magazines. I was taught that a magazine is more usually a revue, but that may be out of date.

Add: I tried magazine in Neil's translation engine and he apparently thinks magazine is OK. What an old fuddy-duddy I am, to be sure...

[Jenni Jolly]

Merci beaucoup ! I will see if I can figure out the part about playing games on the computer. I'm learning more quickly by writing and translating stories than by trying to memorize things out of context. 

Perhaps it is: J'aime jouer aux jeux de l'ordinateur?

[Neil Coffey]

According to Larousse, "magazine" is a more general word, whereas "revue" is refers to a more specialist magazine.

But e.g. "Science & Vie" on its web page describes itself as a "magazine". So there may not be much in it.

As far as I'm aware, "magazine" is a perfectly common, normal word in French. I don't think there's any reason not to use it.