Need this checking?

[Frank Lampard]

La première fois que on recontre Vinz il y a a close up of his knuckle duster which suggests violence. Selon moi, cette scène avec Vinz montre que la violence sera un thème principal dans le film. En outre, avoir une arme excite Vinz, il voit la arme comme objet séduisant. En fait, ceci est clairement montré quand Vinz a une vision de tuer le gardien du traffic. les trois caractères principaux essayent de voler une voiture et sont impliqués dans les combats. Je crains qu’il ne soit une situation difficile pour les personnages, leurs milieux pauvres les mène vers le crime mais personellement si j'étais dans leur situation moi ne pensez pas que le crime est la réponse, il rend des choses plus mauvaises.

 

On the film La Haine, is there any mistakes in here? I had no idea how to say the first bit, didn't know how to translate knuckle duster and a close up shot.

Feel free to change the first bit as much as you want for it to make sense. I'm trying to say:

The first time we meet Vinz, there is a close up of his knuckle duster which suggests violence.

 

Thanks a lot!

[Jackie Cann]

I looked up knuckleduster in my big Hachette dictionary and it says: un coup de poing américain! So I've learned something new too - I never knew this!  And 'in close-up' is 'en gros plan'.  'Suggesting' with regard to violence I think  would be sembler indiquer.  This is also from my dictionary!  I'm not French so others might think differently. When you put 'que on rencontre' this should be qu'on rencontre.  Same with la arme - should be l'arme - these words contract before a vowel.  Leurs milieux pauvre les mènent (the verb will agree with LES and be plural).  I think that 'moi ne pensez pas' should be moi, je ne penserais pas, if you mean 'I myself would not think.'  Ne pensez pas would be an instruction to someone else - 'Don't think that...'  Maybe this is what you meant:  I wasn't sure.

Hope this helps - Jackie

[Jackie Cann]

Whoops!  Correction to what I put earlier...  que l'on rencontre!  'Qu'on' sounds like something rude and I don't think we're supposed to say that.  Suddenly thought of it.. Sorry.

[stu harris]

knuckleduster is a problem. Maybe there is no such word in French. I'd try poing de cuivre if I wanted to say it in conversation, then watch for the blank stares.

[Ed la mouette]

Hi, Stu.

A knuckleduster is indeed un coup de poing américain.

 

By the way, here's some corrections :

- la violence sera le thème principal

- la arme = l'arme

- quand Vinz se voit tuer le "gardien du traffic" (did you mean "gendarme" ? It's been a while I've seen this movie)

- les trois personnages principaux

- Je crains que ce soit une situation

- je ne penserais pas que le crime serait la solution

- il aggrave les choses

- leur milieu pauvre have to be singular

[Frank Lampard]

Ok thanks a lot guys!

 

Anyone other corrections needed? Or is the text ok?