I need some help to write a job letter in english

[Ludovic Mercier]

Good evening,

I am trying to write a job application letter in english, and I did write one. But I need to someone check it and turn it in better english, more natural and without all mistakes I probably did.

Could somebody do that for me?

Here is the letter : 

"My name is Ludovic Mercier, I live in Japan for more than 2 years now. I am searching for a job in the hotel business. I studied japanese language in France where I graduated university at INALCO Institute. Then I took a chance to come in Japan by receiving a scholarship and studying at Rikkyo University because I was willing to know more about Japan and japanese language. I also studied sociology and psychology in relation to Japan. I chose linguistics and intercultural communication studies to meet a lot of people and to transmit all my values in prospects to learn more about the world and especially about Japan and its cultural wealth.

I speak and write japanese and english at business level. French is my native language. I have high communicative skills, and I love human contact. I would like to serve your company by sharing my experiences and my abilities in communication and languages, and by learning more again about the proper and finest way to receive customers in a luxury hotel. I have a real motivation to help at providing high-class services to the clientele, and improve continuously my know-how by working for you. 

The hotel business represents to my eyes a wealthy values institution in human exchange, a special place where people meet and pass. More again for luxury and high-rank hotels, the service and reception quality has to be perfect, exhaustive, and give the most pleasant impression to the customer. That is very motivating me to work in this business because it matches with my personnal views and preferences about professional activities.

I am sure that my motivation to serve people would be very appropriate in hotel business where it is very important to give warm and refined feeling to one’s guests. I want to learn and help to get the quality of services and reception in your hotel as good as possible.
I thank you for taking the time to read this letter."

Thank you for your time to read it. Please help me to get it fine.

Ludovic M.

[Lynn]

I'm sorry that I do not have time to read everything, but here are a few things to make sure of and correct:
- Be sure to use the past tense whenever referring to your education or experience. For example, instead of I live in Japan for more than two years, it would be better to say: I have lived in Japan...
- Use 'the' more liberally.Instead of: I studied japanese language in France, say: I studied the Japanese language...
- Make sure your sentences are not too long. Use semicolons or divide a sentence into two- especially the sentence that begins: Then I took a chance to come...
- Remember to capitilize languages- such as English and Japanese. In English it is proper to do so.
- The last sentence states: ... to get the quality of services and reception in your hotel as good as possible. Try instead maybe : as excellent as possible.
These are some more major things. For the most part, your expressions are very natural and your English is refined.

[Ludovic Mercier]

Thank you Lynn for your advice. I will use it and take a real benefit from it.

Ludovic

[colingannon]

My name is Ludovic Mercier. I have lived in Japan for more than 2 years now. I am searching for a job in the hotel business. I studied the japanese language in France where I graduated university at the INALCO Institute. I took a chance in coming to Japan after I received my scholarship. I stdudied at Rikkyo University because I was willing to know more about Japan and, the japanese language. I also studied Sociology and Psychology both relating to Japan. I chose Linguistics and Intercultural communication studies to meet more people and to transmit all my values in prospects to learn more about the world and especially about Japan and its cultural wealth.

I speak and write Japanese and English at business level with French being my native language. I have high communicative skills, and I love human contact. I would like to serve your company by sharing my experiences and my abilities in communication and languages, and by learning more about the proper and finest way to welcome customers into a luxury hotel. I have a real motivation to help provide high-class services to the clientele, and improve continuously my know-how by working for you.

In my eyes, the hotel business represents a wealthy institution for human exchange - a special place where people meet and pass. Moreover, in luxury and high-ranked hotels, the service and reception quality has to perfect, exhaustive, and most pleasant impression must be given to the customer. It is very motivating for me to work in this business because it matches my personnal views and preferences about professional activities.

I am sure that my motivation to serve people would be very appropriate in hotel business where it is very important to give warm and refined feeling to one’s guests. I want to learn and help get the quality of service and reception in your hotel as much as possible.
I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this letter."

Thank you for your time to read it. Please help me to get it fine.
Ludovic M.

[Mark Stanton]

Here y'go.

My name is Ludovic Mercier. I have lived in Japan for more than 2 years now. I am searching for a job in the hotel business. I studied the Japanese language in France where I graduated from university at the INALCO Institute. I took a chance in coming to Japan after I received my scholarship. I then studied at Rikkyo University because I wanted to know more about Japan and the Japanese language. I also studied sociology and psychology, both relating to Japan. I chose linguistics and inter-cultural communication studies to meet more people and “to transmit all my values in prospects” to learn more about the world and especially about Japan and its cultural wealth.

I speak and write Japanese and English at business level with French being my native language. I have strong communication skills, and I love social contact. I would like to serve your company by sharing my experiences and my abilities in communication and languages, and by learning more about the proper and finest way to welcome customers into a luxury hotel. I have a real motivation to help provide high-class services to the clientele, and improve continuously my know-how by working for you.

In my eyes, the hotel business represents a rich institution for human exchange - a special place where people meet and pass. Moreover, in luxury and high-ranked hotels, the service and reception quality has to be perfect, exhaustive, and a most pleasant impression must be given to the customer. It is very motivating for me to work in this business because it matches my personal views and preferences about professional activities.

I am sure that my motivation to serve people would be very appropriate in a hotel business where it is very important to give warm and sophisticated feeling to one’s guests. I want to learn and help to maintain the quality of service and reception in your hotel as much as possible.

The only (real) problem I can see with this is that stuff I put in quotation marks in the first paragraph, “to transmit all my values in prospects”. I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean so can't make a sensible suggestion.

Regards
Mark